from Brandi Barnett–LTYM OKC 2013

by heathers on February 18, 2014

resizebrandiI want to be brave and strong, and Listen to Your Mother showed me those qualities take many forms. True, for some people, the simple act of standing in spotlight on a stage requires courage.  Not me.  Telling the truth about myself, though? That’s different.
Listen to Your Mother provided a platform for releasing a secret I’d kept fairly close to home.  Infertility creates shame in the most confident people.  My husband and I acknowledged the fact we weren’t DINKs by choice, but we refused to accept it. After several years, we shared our struggles with a few.  When we became pregnant, we told more about the long road we’d traveled.  When we lost the baby, I hated myself for sharing our secret . . . for letting others know I was broken.
But I was never broken.
Without realizing it, I was just getting stronger. The thing about secrets is that they get around.  Friends told their friends. And those strangers contacted me.  Sometimes it was an email. Sometimes it was a phone call. Sometimes it was a text. “I hope you don’t mind…” they’d say, “…I just need someone who understands what I’m going through.” These mothers-in-waiting wanted to communicate with someone who’d scouted that empty, lonely part of the world and emerged happy.  These women helped me realize how selfish I’d been to keep my pain and triumphs to myself. There was nothing wrong with any of us. 
Listen to Your Mother gave me the opportunity to tell the world about infertility.  Because of that experience I’m starting a monthly series on my blog called Pregnant Pauses. If my posts help one couple feel less isolated, then it’s worth my exposure.
Our lives don’t always follow the map we’ve created.  Off-roading is okay. Sometimes, going off the trail leads to unimaginable opportunities and encounters.
My life’s compass didn’t lead me down the path I’d planned, but it guided me to truth and that’s a worthwhile journey. I speak with confidence when I tell my children, “Hey, listen to your mother.”
Watch Brandi’s video HERE.
Lisa February 22, 2014 at 10:42 pm

Thank you Brandi for sharing your story, for being a voice that empowers women and couples not to be isolated and ashamed. And thank you for being such an encouragement for others to embrace this unique experience of “listen to your mother.”

Misti Ridiculous February 25, 2014 at 9:14 am

Brandi, this is exactly what LTYM is about! THIS. Me Too Moments. We are so lucky that you took the leap and shared your story!

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