No One is Alone (for Anna See)

 

One of ours has lost one of theirs. He was right here—just the other day—and now no more.

Children die every day. We know this, and we keep walking our own paths, trying to keep sight of our own children and loved ones, busy with the foraging of our own day. Mothers, fathers, daughters and sons walk all around us, and every day people get separated from the pack—lost, perish. As my friend Stacey said, “It’s always somebody’s baby.”

We read newspaper accounts, we might take a moment for “By the grace of God,” push it across the kitchen counter, turn off the remote, change the radio station—shut it out **breathe** and carry on.

Then sometimes someone stops just in front of you on the trail (you had your head down, watching your own feet, your kids’ shoulders) and you stumble straight into her catastrophe. Them feels more like We, and before you know it you’ve opened your arms trying to hold something—do something. This mother in front of you has her arms outstretched reaching reaching and your arms are outstretched reaching and nothing can be done.

Anna See of an Inch of Gray– her 12 year old son died tragically on Thursday. Yesterday, grief and sorrow echoed through the blogosphere. One of us. A mom. A blog writer. A memory keeper.

Anna just wrote a post last Friday for a friend of hers—a mother walking her own sometimes difficult path. The last line of Anna’s post reads:

And today, in whatever situation you find yourself, when you may be thinking as Kathy did, and as I sometimes do, “This is NOT the life I signed up for,” remember that you are never alone.

These words remind me of a passage from author Melody Beattie, another mother whose son died tragically at age 12. From her book “More Language of Letting Go” Beattie writes about her own unbearable grief following her son’s death (pg 50)

February 13: You’re not alone

…There are places in our lives that we’re called to go alone. People can surround us, call us, and offer support. But the journey we’re about to take is solely and uniquely ours. People can watch us, reach out to us, and even say they know how it feels. But the world we’re entering is ours, and ours alone.

Slowly, as we walk this path that life has thrust us on, we begin to see the outline of a few faces—way out in the distance, waving to us, cheering us on. As we continue along the path, the faces and forms fill in. Before long, we see that we’re in the midst of a large, large group. Where did all these people come from? we wonder. I thought I was alone.

No matter what path you’re on, others have walked it before you, and some will follow you there. Each step you take is uniquely yours,but you are never never alone.

While many experiences are isolated and uniquely ours, we’re simultaneously part of a collective force. What we go through and what we do matters—sometimes much more than we know.

Our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with and your family, Anna. Arms are outstretched in your community and across the online world, and while nothing can take the pain away right now, we can all help you hold it. You are not alone.

Sometimes people leave you.
Halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what’s good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.

Mother isn’t here now
Who knows what she’d say?
Nothings quite so clear now.
Feel you’ve lost your way?
You are not alone
No one is alone

You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Something’s bound to linger
Be heard

–Steven Sondheim’s Into The Woods

 

If you’ve written a post for Anna See, please link them up here.

Tagged as: Uncategorized